Ok.  So, I love and hate Valentine’s Day.  Love it, when I’ve gotten to celebrate it in conjunction with a special person.  Hate it, all other times.  More so, now that I am directly part of the machine that is Valentine’s Day.

Now that I have some insight, let me tell you this.  As much as women, and especially younger women, say they do not care for Valentine’s Day, when that day arrives, they will be especially elated to find that their significant other has thought of them on that day of all days and just a little more sad when you don’t.

A bare desk at work, will leave you with an empty bed at home.

So, do you suck at Valentine’s Day?  Well, today I will help you suck just a little less and give you my tips for a great Valentine’s Day.

Plan Ahead!

Planning ahead is an absolute must.  Waiting until the day before or day of, will leave you with a Walgreen’s greeting card and some cheap flowers from Krogers, and your lady will notice.  You will score high points for being thoughtful and having things taken care of way in advance, and you won’t be freaking out at the long lines and high prices.

First, you need to decide what kind of Valentine’s Day you want to share with your loved one.  Do you want the classic candy and flowers, or do you want to be daring and gift her a basket of naughty?  In general, Valentine’s Day falls on par with an anniversary, but in my opinion less than a birthday or Christmas holiday.  Decide what level of Vday is appropriate for your current relationship and then up it by a factor of two, because you sir, suck at Valentine’s Day.  I can tell.  Shut up.

“BUT ADAM! I have no monies! Can I haz Vday?” you say.  Absofrickinglutely, you can.  It’s three weeks away, you can get away with a memorable Valentine’s for less than $40, but it will require more work and finesse to pull off, I’ll add the cheap ass tip to the end of each of the following sections.   You should still plan around your budget and always err on the expensive side when deciding how much you’ll be spending.  Ladies do not like a cheap ass and they definitely don’t like someone foolish with their spending.

If you want to go classic,  I’ll be detailing each of the standard Valentine’s Day fare in the following sections:  Gifts, Dinner, & Events.  If you’re going for something different,  I’ll have a section for that at the very end for those daring to walk down that fine line between romantic and stalker.

Gifts!

While, there are the girls that wish to have nothing on Valentine’s Day, in general it is not safe to come home empty-handed or not have something sent to her place of work on Feb. 14th.  This is probably the easiest place to make a mistake, and the hardest to do perfectly.  You should really take the most time deciding this part of the day.  If you’ve got a good memory think about what she complains about the most, other than about you.  One year, a simple wristlet purse brought a girl to tears, just because she had become thoroughly tired of carrying big envelope wallets overflowing with cards and receipts.  A previous time, some custom picture frames with a few memorable moments also did the trick.  Both were very inexpensive, but it truly was the thought that made them so strong in their impact.  Letting her know that you listen to her rant and complain, and you did something to help make her life just a little bit better is will have her holding on to her dear prince for the rest of the night.

Expensive gifts do work, too.  Easy way outs are purses, shoes, designer jeans, electronics, and jewelry.  Never give a girl a gift card for Valentine’s.  It’s meaningless and basically says I don’t know what you like, I give up.  Lingerie will get you slapped, or one of those looks on her face, because that’s a gift for you, not her.

I tend to not recommend practical gifts, unless you have an extremely practical girl, and even then, that’s risky.  No girl says “I love you”, after you give her a vacuum cleaner.  Some are safe, like hair straighteners, curlers, blow dryers.  Things that she has that she never seems to update for herself, and wouldn’t buy for herself, but she complains when they don’t work correctly.

Likewise, accessories to her electronics make good small gifts, if you’re looking to stay on a low budget.  Buying a decent pair of earphones for your girlfriend’s iPod, will remind her that you do listen to her when she complains she can’t hear her music at the gym or you’ve seen her drag her pair through hell and back, but refuses to spend the cash to upgrade.  A phone case to that phone she’s always dropping is a great idea, too.  Simple, but lets her know you notice the little things in her life, it helps reinforce your feelings for her.

If you’re going to have something delivered to her, order it now.  I cannot stress it enough.  NOW.  You’ll get the best selection, decide when you want it delivered, and get a very helpful person on the other end of the line.  Right now is the quiet before the storm, and many of the businesses in the gift giving industry are pining for orders to start off their Valentine’s Day season, right.  They will be elated to have you call, have the time to talk with you and help you decide what will be the best gift for your money.

Edible gifts are very popular right now, and I definitely recommend those for the sweet tooth girls in your lives.  The popular edible gift, Edible Arrangements, can get pricey, but that’s kind par for the course for this season.  They can be enjoyed for days and they taste great.  I worked for the one in Arlington a few years back, and they’re friendly and very good with making their delivery commitments.

The mainstay of Valentine’s Day is the flower arrangement, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.  Flower prices have been on the rise the past few years, and I am sad to say it’s not changing.  Most DFW florists are charging about $100-$120 for a dozen long stem red roses, arranged in a vase and delivered, and delivery is always a little more during Valentine’s Day.  As a floral designer, I won’t press too much on whether or not you should, but if you do, order early.   If you want something specially designed, this gives your florist the time to get the correct flowers for the design you want and usually remember your order among the many that flood their store on the last few days leading up to the big day.

Big tip here: If you’re going to buy flowers, order local.  Going to a national wire service will a guarantee you will not get the best possible flowers for your money.  They have their specials and discounts, but those usually get passed onto the florist, who already is almost losing 40% by you not ordering directly from them.  Get your money’s worth and order from a florist local to where you are wanting it delivered.  If your’e delivering to San Jose, call a florist in San Jose.  Avoid 1-800 whatever.  If you see something on their website you like,  many florists can replicate or design something very similar for likely a better price.  If you must use a national service,  Teleflora is, in my opinion, the best service out there.  They are well supported all over the world, and their designs are constantly updated.

Avoid the crap they sell on the streets. It’s overpriced and low quality.  Not worth your dimes.

Now, are you artist?  Can you build things that last longer than two weeks?  Making a gift is not lame, if you’re talented.  Once, a very well-done charcoal drawing got me a million brownie points.  And brownie points are redeemable for giggity goo.  A well-sung cover of her favorite song. Awesome.  A lame cover of your favorite song, sung poorly. Lamesome.  A good friend of mine made a fantastic video dedicated to his lady at the time, very well done, with pictures of her and him.  It brought tears to MY eyes, it was that good.  @GuyKim

A good suggestion, if money is no object, is to deliver something to her workplace on Feb 11th, enjoy the start of the weekend of your many plans and ideas (because you WILL have something planned), and follow up with a “DAMN I’M GOOD” second delivery on Monday the 14th.  Bam Bam Bam, neighbors know your name.

Take your time with the gift and she will notice.

Dinner!

I’m usually very anti-go out to eat on Vday.  Restaurants are overcrowded and usually are very expensive on that particular day.  I recommend finding a restaurant that is doing reservations only and have a set dinner for the night.  A few years back, I did one at Asian Mint in north Dallas, and it went very well in my opinion, although I suck at drinking wine, or maybe she was just more pro at drinking.  They had a set menu, and reservations only.  It wasn’t overly crowded and we didn’t have to wait long.  It’s the best option if you plan on dining out on Feb. 14th.

Another option for dining on vday is the picnic. “LAME” you say.  Yes, it’s a little lame, especially, if the weather turns to crap.  Choose a park with a lake, preferable close to the city lights and have some simple wine and food you made. Yes. You. Turn on Stove. FIRE FIRE. Cook.  Just sit and enjoy each other’s time.  She’ll remember.  Bring a couple blankets, one to sit on and one to wrap around her.  Girls are always cold.  I don’t get it.

Lastly, you cook a meal at home for her.  This makes a great impact if you don’t cook often and you’re good at cooking.  If you cook all the time or you suck at it, she’ll just play with her food and not much with you at all for the night.  Pick something she likes, obviously, and make it a light meal.  I insist on a light alcoholic beverage to break up the normalcy of the moment.  Candlelight definitely works.  Clean your apartment.  Make it neat and tidy.  She will notice, and you’ll enjoy making it messy later.

Events!

“Valentine’s Day is an event, you tard.” Shut it.

I’ve seen some very creative ideas when it came to February 14th and this is the best way to make a lasting, memorable impression and usually a good way to end the night.

In general, I’ve found concerts to be a very good Vday event, but only if it’s someone they know or will enjoy.   This year, on the 13th, the House of Blues is hosting the Plain White T’s and they are a great couple group.  They have some really good love ballads, as well as some fast, fun easy to enjoy songs.  I thoroughly recommend them to the music lover in your life.

Another option for the lady is to make her laugh her pants off at a comedy club,  Arlington’s Improv is going to have Chris D’Elia on the weekend before Valentine’s Day.  He’s a great, great comic and will definitely be a great, memorable Vday event.

If you’re looking for something low-key or low-price, but with a significant impact, I have to recommend visiting a few of the museums in Dallas or Fort Worth.  The Modern Art Museum in Fort Worth is very inexpensive and has some really great thought provoking pieces.  Believe me, trust me, and have faith, that your girlfriend or wife will be shocked and amazed if you bring her to a museum.  It’s smart, it’s meaningful, and yet so simple, she will do flips the next week talking about how her very cultured boyfriend took her to see Monet and Cezanne for Valentine’s.  The Fort Worth museum district is also blessed with being very close to the up and coming area of West 7th, it has some great bars and some nice scenic areas, as well as not being far from the Trinity Park area.  A stroll along the river by moonlight is classic romance.

For the very different.

For the bold and maybe someone who’s done a few too many Valentine’s Days and needs something fresh,  I will make some wild suggestions.

Gifts - Tickets for a trip out of town or take her away that weekend starting Friday.  It’s still two weeks from VDay and you might be able to find some deals if you book soon.  It will be pricey, but a whirlwind and surprise trip will knock her socks and everything above the ankles off.  Buy her one pricey dress.  My personal choice is Herve Leger for the thin and light types.  If she’s not into that, or not open to wearing a $1,000 dress,  I suggest a booking a night at the W and ordering room service.  Cell phones off, no internet.  Just you and her for one night.  If that doesn’t work. Fuck. You must be wack.

Dinner - The bold will make her homemade sushi and be fucking orgasmic with it.  If you don’t have the chops for it, again, book an expensive hotel and order room service, be playful.  Or dine at the strip club buffet. Whatev’s.  I don’t like dining on Vday.

Events - Take her far, far, far out of the city.  Weatherford is almost far enough.  Find a nice park.  And sit.  If she doesn’t travel out of the city much, you will have an amazing time just looking at the stars and pondering the existence of life on another planet.  Bring a container of hot cocoa or Crown to keep her warm.  Don’t head home until she snuggles close.  She’ll sleep on the ride home, and you’ll thank me for those few moments of seeing her act like a little kid and rub her nose into your shoulder.

TL:DR

Take the time to plan Valentine’s Day NOW.  Like RIGHT NOW.  Just scribble it down somewhere.  Take a few moments out of your OCD Facebook checking and Black Ops mania, turn to the side and look at that amazingly beautiful girl that decided to date a schlub like you and plan her a day on that Monday to be happy to tell her friends about you on Tuesday.

She deserves it, you tard.

But as for me, and a growing number of childhood nerds, we’ve seen the light of popular society, and luckily we’re on the bleeding edge. Many of us laugh from behind hour desks as network admins and IT professionals. “You forgot your password, and your printer won’t print?! OH NOES! Whatever shall you do? I’ll be there in an hour.”

We’re a lucky group now that knows our way around all sorts of gadgets and electronics, but now we’re being outpaced by a new generation even more well versed in modern technology. Such is the life cycle of us nerds, i mean, come on, we have a new iPod ever other year, and my year old laptop is nearly without use.

My new direction is finding a suitable umpc/mid/ultraportable/small form factor laptop or whatever to handle my blogging duties.

Now my requirements are simple, yet, I’m fairly picky on those and a little stiff to bulge.

Must be small, less than 4lbs in weight and have a qwerty keyboard running some version of a Windows OS, XP or Vista. I don’t have the time or patience to learn Linux. I respect it as an superior operating system, however, I am busy, and I need the larger and more accessible suite of software available for windows.

secondly, I need at least 9″ of screen. 7 inches is a little too small, which rules out the 7″ first gen eeePC and cloudbook. however there are quite a few coming out that are going fit these criteria so far, 2nd gen 9″ eeePC, HP 2133, MSI whatever, and Dell’s unannounced lappie.

third and fourth, minimum of 1ghz processor and 1gig ram, and lastly at least 8Gb hard storage and SDHC slot or minimum 100 Gb hard drive.

and all under $500 plx. =)

One of which is a show that plays like a male-centric Sex and The City with CEO’s, called Big Shots. The shows four main characters are each heads of some large corporation, which really doesn’t play much into the actual storyline of the story except that they’re exceptionally rich and surrounded by some incredibly beautiful women, most well above 20, which is possibly to seek a more mature and respectable age group, rather than such reality-dramas as The Hills, centered around some wealthy kids in Hollywood.

After about three episodes having been aired, the die is still rolling on whether this is going to end up a hit or a miss. However, I have to respect ABC, the broadcaster, for their latest trend in featuring great new artists that haven’t quite hit mainstream. Nearing the end of tonight’s episode, the voice of a melancholy young female began to sing a  wonderfully sad song. After a moment’s googling and a bit of quick searching I quickly found a snippet of the track and I’m currently downloading the entire album. 

The group is called A Fine Frenzy and the track is called “Almost Lover” is seems almost as if it could be a Beatles cover, it may be I am not sure, but it’s delightful and with some effort, one can find it easily.

 Here’s a snip of some of the lyrics:

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

You must hear it to truly enjoy it.

I have crap experience in writing blogs or any other sort of professional writing, unless, however, if you count pounding f5 on other blogs I frequent, such as Engadget, Gizmodo, Styledash, Joystiq, and Jalopnik. 

 I hope to bring you current, up-to-date and bleeding edge news and information about whatever my mouse paws can claw up.

Hope you enjoy!

 - Adam H